There are no overnight transformations.

Here’s what change really looks like: having flashes of insight, forgetting what you just learned, struggling to practice, being tested in challenging circumstances, feeling like you’re taking a massive step back, and wondering if you’re going in the right direction.

You might beat yourself up for this, believing that there is something wrong with you and the way you’re approaching your goals. But there’s nothing wrong with you—this is just how change works. We change through attempts and setbacks and unlearning and re-learning.

The process in and of itself can be a great and powerful teacher, if we acknowledge it and embrace it for the natural, beautiful unfolding of our growth that it is. This is the kindest option, because the journey of change never ends: life continually gives us new chances to extend and deepen our character, to grow as people in the direction that is deeply meaningful to us. We might as well embrace the experience for what it is.